It's been a rough two weeks around here. Worse than that, I'm pretty sure it was all due to me.
Some of the issues:
- We really, really, really, REALLY want to move. When we built this house 7 or so years ago our thoughts on what we wanted and needed were much different than they are now. We do not need a house this big - half of this would be ideal. We definitely do not need a mortgage this big - again, half or less would be nice! We really want to use more of our money to further God's work than pay a large bill. As the kids get bigger and involved in more activities, it gets really old really fast driving at least 30 minutes to get anywhere - we would love to be closer to the Lacey area where Zac works. All the driving lately (Keanan is in swimming lessons twice a week and BSF in Oly. once a week) has been very trying on home-bodied me. SOLUTION - we are working on listing our house! So if you or someone you know would like a great 4 bedroom 3 bath w/office on 10 very private acres in Yelm - let us know! We are also praying about being content with where God has us right now.
- There's a whole lot of self going on around here (by that I mean me). Selfishness, self-pity, self-absorbed. Yep, it's been all about me, pretty much all the time - horrible attitude problem. This makes it hard to handle the "stuff" thrown at me daily by a pre-schooler and a toddler. So hard in fact, that Zac had to come home one day last week to save me / them. We even skipped a week of swim lessons and BSF. Yikes! SOLUTION - JESUS! Thank God for the gift of the Holy Spirit to come and kick me in the butt! He also is good at using my husband and bible study for this. Most definitely still a work in progress
- Facebook. I have a love/hate relationship with this thing. It is great for staying in contact with others and for my business. I am in a few birth related groups where I can get some great information. However, I get sucked in and end up losing large quantites of time. Then I stress over all the other things that I did not get done or my kids start acting out because I am not engaging them. SOLUTION: Zac blocked it! Seriously, I can't get on it from my computer at all! I deleted the apps on the tablet and on my phone. I asked him to do this. The greatest form of self control is to remove the temptation completely (this is why there is no junk food or sweets in our house). I did not want to close my account because of the business connection, so Zac will remove the block on weekends. I have been so much more productive, engaged and peaceful since this happened. However, this means all my blog posts and interesting articles that I used to link to my wall will be put up on the weekend.
- Fatigue. I have been really tired lately, even after getting 8 hours of sleep. I don't want to rely on coffee to get me going through the day either. I know that attending births all night (which I did last week) doesn't help this, but even when I haven't been at a birth, I just feel wiped. It's making me grumpy and sucking up my motivation. My body also feels sore, especially my back. I want to get up early and exercise, which I know in my head will help, but I am just so tired I can't get out of bed! SOLUTION: I have a doctor's appointment in the next 2 weeks (with a ND!), so we will see what she says. I have been making myself be in bed by 11pm, which is hard since Zac and I are night owls.
So there you go, a little view into the crazy mind of Jen. Prayers are appreciated =)